InsideOut Development Blog | Articles to Enhance Your Coaching Skills

There's Life Outside the Workplace | InsideOut Development

Written by Taylor Jones | Oct 31, 2019 6:00:00 AM

The GROW® Model does a lot of improve performance within the workplace—increased productivity, higher levels of ownership, smoother operation within team structures, just to name a few.

But have you considered how the GROW Model can help outside the workplace, be it in family relationships, between friends, or in personal development.

Below are a few real life examples from individuals new to coaching who tried it for themselves.

Coaching Children

While working with my son this weekend on baseball, I decided to change my Outside-In approach of constantly correcting him when he was not performing a task properly to periodically asking him how he felt throughout the session. We were working on hitting, so asking him to explain how he felt when he hit a ball well, along with when he miss-hit a ball.

The workout session was much less stressful. Asking him how he felt when he hit a ball correctly to the level of describing it to me, and then telling him to focus on just that one thing. In this case, keeping has back side tight. This really made a difference in how he worked through the practice session, and thought about the mechanics of hitting a baseball, versus always hearing what he was doing wrong. I used this approach on both good and not so good swings. We also discussed prior to the session what he wanted to accomplish that day, which was keeping his hands inside the ball and working to hit it up the middle to right center.

[Even though] I struggled to maintain the InsideOut approach throughout the entire workout… this was a much more relaxed experience.

Improving Parent/Child Communication

I had a breakthrough conversation with one of my children yesterday; the process was much smoother than I thought and I got more info out of my pre-teen than I have with traditional questions! I’m even more onboard than I was in the training. I had to stop myself multiple times from asking additional questions—I realized the questions in my head were for my curiosity only. It was great experiencing this; the more I use the process, the more comfortable I will feel. Going forward I’ll use the process more.

Supporting Spouses

Of course, children aren’t the only relationships that individuals have found coaching playing a role. Where being a supportive and loving spouse is a goal, coaching is now another tool available to help these people succeed.

I did the coaching for breakthrough with my wife…She manages the clerks at the city court system. The clerks are constantly giving out misinformation which discredits the clerks and constantly makes their jobs harder. Using GROW for Breakthrough my wife came up with the idea of a script and also role playing during their monthly staff meetings.

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I used the Check-In Questions of “what’s working,” “where are you stuck,” and “what might you do differently” in checking in with my husband today on a new business venture he has been focused on over several recent weeks. The three questions along with the use of “what else” provided so much insight and allowed him to have my undivided attention too.

Forging Forward with Friends

And coaching has helped outside the family, too. Many people have found that they now have the knowledge and capability they didn’t have before to help their friends reach their goals.

I conducted a GROW for Breakthrough conversation this weekend with a woman who is a gifted fiction writer who would like to publish her first novel. Her goal was centered on carving out time in her daily routine for editing her near final draft in preparation for a review with a trusted adviser in about three weeks. Meanwhile, she is challenged by the huge responsibility of being a caregiver to a spouse with Alzheimer’s and being crippled by self-doubt. In 20 minutes, we were able to walk through the GROW Model and define a Way Forward, which will allow her to focus for 4 hours per day on editing her novel. We discussed specific strategies for making sure she can break away from distractions (spouse, kids, aging parent who all need her) and focus on her goal. For accountability, she asked me to follow up with her to make sure that she’s making the time. We also discussed what she’ll do if she misses a day, which we don’t want her to register as failure. Instead, she’ll resume the plan the next day and keep moving forward.

I also want to note that she entered the conversation with her “skepticals” on (pun intended). She was amazed at how simple and effective the GROW tool was.

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I had a GROW for Breakthrough conversation with my best friend this weekend.

  • What worked?

The GROW process and asking questions! For the first time, I was able to really focus on asking questions, rather than giving my opinion or just commenting on whatever the issue was. One of my coaching weaknesses is that I talk too much, and GROW really helped that. Having the framework helped me stay focused…It also helped me reflect back what was said and to check for understanding.

  • Where did I get stuck?

In Reality and Options. Her issue was somewhat complex and I did get off track of the scripted questions trying to understand the whole situation. Also in Options, I did not follow the script exactly, but I did frequently ask “What else?” While I went off script, I did focus on asking questions, not making statements or opinions.

  • What could I do differently?

Stick to the script! I’m planning another GROW for Breakthrough conversation and will be disciplined in sticking to the script next time, I’m sure it will speed up the conversation.

I’m excited to use the GROW tool again and am eager to share it with colleagues at [work]. I liked how GROW gets to specific options and next steps, and I have a “check in” call scheduled with my friend…after she implements her “way forward.”

Coaching is a marvelous tool to use within organizations, and it’s a tool your employees will thank you for, because it will enable them to be successful both in and out of work.

If you don’t believe it, try it.